Showing posts from June, 2012

Standing Up for Friends

I literally just finished a blog about not being stood up for. However, this is what happens when I stand up for my friends. My friend Andrea has some health issues. She is always going through some sort of treatment for this or that. She has heart issues. So any undue stress on her is not good. She had this Ex who was dating this pyscho. This psycho would text her all the time and call her and harrass her. She was still talking to her ex and his family. This woman did a lot of very high school-ish things and went to his family and was trying to talk badly about her, was trying to keep her out of his kid's life.. all sorts of dramatic crap. So finally, I had enough. I sent him a message on facebook telling him to be a man and make this stop. I told him I don't care who you're sleeping with. I don't care that you and Andrea broke up, you know that happens. But if you're going to be friends with her and not look out for her health, that's another thing. I tol

One Of The Most Hurtful Things

One of the most hurtful things someone has ever said to me was this past weekend. I was at a graduation party, and things were beginning to wind down. People were sitting around the fire and I was standing because I was getting tired and thinking of leaving. This guy Mike was talking to one of my friends. He was talking about how he was divorced and acting like since he was divorced he had all this important knowledge he could bestow upon him to put into action for my friend's current relationship. I jokingly said "well you know, you're not the only divorced one here." He turned to me, and in front of a various group of people, some that I know and some that I don't said "Well, the main difference between your divorce and my divorce is that I know at some point my wife actually loved me." Laughter erupted from probably all except me. I simply responded with "Yeah... I'm going to go home." Mike tried to go back and make a joke at his own


I feel like for some reason I need to make some clarifications. I'm a pretty open book when it comes to my life, my missteps, my failures and even my fears. I would like to be clear about what has happened with my former marriage. I married someone too quickly. I think it was timing. I think he just said all the right things at the right time. To be honest, I knew that if he loved me, he definitely loved me much more than I loved him, but I thought that was okay. I thought I wasn't going to be alone anymore. There was going to be someone there who would be there for me when I needed him. And yes there were times that he held me when I cried. One thing when we first got together that really touched me was him playing the song "You are not alone" by Michael Jackson. Maybe he just somehow knew that was what I needed to hear. I don't know how, but maybe he did. However, within months of getting married I knew that if we hadn't been married, I would have brok

Mr. Right

I was talking to an old friend this weekend and something he said to me really got to me. He told me that all men get sick of... let's just say "being with" the same woman and go looking for something "new." I disagreed. I told him I know plenty of men that I believe would never even THINK of doing that to their wife. I said maybe I know people with morals and that's just you. Then I told him maybe that's just African men (he's African, it has nothing to do with skin color either, because not all African men are black). I say so because I have dated a lot of African men, and I actually married (and divorced) one. All of those that I have dated have had character issues. They weren't all from the same country (Somalia, Kenya, Zambia, Nigeria). However, I can say with confidence there were definite character issues with all of them. Perhaps it was something about me that I was portraying that attracted them to me. However, I have resolved I will