My Heart - by Kristen Lea

So, the Oscars turned out pretty awesome. A lot of my predictions came true. A lot of people who deserved to win actually won. So, how much of a douche is SEAN PENN?!?!?!?! He can't even take a joke. If you don't know what I'm talking about because you didn't watch, leave a comment or email me and I'll try to explain it. Lets just say for now that he takes himself way too seriously. So, today was supposed to be my first day of training at Bankers in GR, but the two others who were supposed to be training with me had things come up, so I pretty much went all the freaking way to GR for nothing. So training starts tomorrow. I can't wait to get started and used to doing my job. That will be pretty awesome. There was one pretty cute guy there but I'm pretty sure I saw a wedding ring. Argh! Suck..... that always happens. I cannot wait until spring! It will be pretty awesome! Our puppy is as fun and as devilish as ever.

So, I am irritated. I had (yes, had ) this "friend" and we did a lot of stuff together and I stayed at her house all the time... even went out of my way to stay there when she didn't have a car to drive to work, so I could take her, and because of something stupid, she's decided she is not going to talk to me anymore. Believe me, this is no skin off my back, I could really care less if she's really that immature and can't get over anything (even though there is nothing to get over)- then that's HER problem. I almost feel sorry for her because she's such a liar that no one I know believes her or really wants to be associated with her. She has (since the "incident") been telling lies about me, but I guess it doesn't really matter since no one in their right mind would believe anything she said. As my friend Josef once said, "she'd lie just for fun." He said something like that. I believe him now, because I am experienci...

Today was my last insurance class. I have a lot of studying to do before Tuesday! It was overall a decent experience, besides some of the idiots who asked the most moronic questions. I went to a basketball game tonight and Lakewood kicked Dewitt's butt. SPANKED 'EM! The final score was around 68-41. The lead was never less than 10. Sadly, I could shoot better than their whole team. Our team rocked. The only reason we didn't win by more was that the refs were kinda dumb. We were on FOX 47 though, and they called Lakewood one of the best cheering sections around. That was cool! I have nothing else. I am OUT.

So today was my first session of my insurance class. It wasn't too bad, the stuff isn't that difficult... its just a lot of information. If I can pass Music History with Dr. Kindley, I can pass this test. The worst part of the test is that there are questions that don't even count, but you don't know which ones they are. So, if you get them right, it doesn't count. Pretty gay if you ask me. I think I may have made a friend already. The girl who sat next to me- her name is Katie- is really nice. She seems pretty cool and we shared a few laughs already. We will be working together at Bankers if we both pass the test! She reminds me a lot of Nicole. She was even a history/poli sci major AND was wearing pointy shoes. How about that?! Well, I should go now... CSI: Miami is on AND I need to review my notes for today!

Well, today was interesting. I found out that my alleged friend Andrea is mad at me, and telling people that she's "trying not to talk to me." I wish she could be mature enough to tell me these things. You see, she's 21 but she's pretty immature when it comes to any kind of social interaction. This is why I am her only friend. So, basically the main reason I was being her friend was because I knew her friends in the past have been unloyal or betrayed her in some way. I have not done this. I have been loyal, and the only reason she's mad at me is because she thinks I got mad at her. That's probably one of the stupidest things I've heard in a long time. Well, I think I'm going to call her and leave a voice mail. If she doesn't want to be my friend anymore, that's fine. I don't need her friendship. I have plenty of friends to go around. However, either way I do need to get my stuff back. Its really too bad, because I love her...

So, today was pretty boring. All I did was go for a run, study, watch TV and crochet. I'm almost done with my blanket! I'm pretty excited. This one is the best blanket I've ever made. Too bad I just realized that my planned bedroom scheme will not really go with the blanket. Oh well, I'll find somewhere for it. I'm going to make a blanket for someone else next. Now that I have the task mastered, I can start giving them away! I mean, I've made scarves for my friends before, but that's different. They're much smaller and take about a day to make. I've been crocheting this blanket for about a year and a half (on and off). I have a long, probably boring weekend ahead of me. I'm going to be studying for that insurance class that begins bright and early at 8 AM on stupid Valentine's day. Ugh- I am not looking forward to that day. Every year I pray to God that it will be my last year alone without my Valentine. Then, for once, I would...

So I pretty much am sick and tired of Valentine's day already and it hasn't even gotten here yet. I loathe Valentine's day, and I don't think I've ever had a good Valentine's day in my entire life. The one time I was dating someone during Valentine's day, I got a plant. He said he got me the plant because "flowers die, and I wanted to get you something living for your room." It died within the next week. When I told him, he said (and I quote), "It was just a cheap walmart plant." I could have punched him in the throat. Oh well, the important thing is that I didn't, right? Sometimes I wish... I friggin' hate valentine's day. Its also known as "Single Awareness Day" to those of us who don't have some sort of admirer. I wish I even had some admirer like I used to have at walmart- Imbred ugly and disgusting. At least it'd be something. Ha! Some guy that we think was probably missing a few brain cells ...

So, basically I wake up every day thanking GOD that I don't work at walmart anymore. Next week my fun and exciting class for me to get my insurance license starts. I'm sure that will be an interesting week of driving all the out to GR just to go to class from 8 AM to 5 PM! Ugh! Someone tried to talk me into going onto eharmony.com and doing some profile crap cuz she met a boyfriend there, and I filled out all the stuff, but in order to communicate with ANY of your matches you have to pay at least fifty dollars. How gay. The guy on the commercials acts like he really cares about helping people find real love when all he really cares about it making the cash. What a hoser. Ahh... I'm sure I'll write more later, but remember, if you have any constructive criticism or something else to say, leave a comment! You're more than welcome.

So, today is Ash Wednesday.... I'm giving up sweets again for Lent. My sweets, I mean dessert type foods, and candies, and stuff like that. Not Soda! Last year I was mocked because I drank soda while giving up "sweets." I'm sorry, but I can't do it all at once! So, I may be FINALLY getting my car fixed next week. I hope I hope I hope. I can't wait to get it fixed, it will make me feel so much better. I bought and watched "The Notebook" today. I read the book first, as I believe I wrote about, and the movie is just as good as the book, although they did change a few things. I know they always change stuff, and I'm not complaining, because it didn't change the integrity of the story. If you haven't seen it or read the book, I highly recommend doing one or the other, OR BOTH! Isn't it weird that sometimes you don't see someone for the longest time, and then you dream of them? Or even if you just start thinking of...

I had choir practice tonight. I am always amazed when people tell me that they like my voice (or other various comliments they give me about my voice), because it has been crappy because I haven't been practicing as much as I should. Apparently its at least still up to par. Oh well. Practice was good. We have our first concert coming up in a few weeks, and I can't wait! Anyway- I did that, studied for the stupid insurance test (which I'm getting rather sick of, by the way) and ran today. Yeah, I did it... its true. I'm getting in the habit. It was really foggy though. Anyway- my sister wants to be killed so I have to go. The world does revolve around her after all. I want to punch her in the throat. Ugh.

So, tonight I saw "Million Dollar Baby." Wow, talk about surprising. It wasn't really anything that I thought it would be. I'm pretty sure Hillary Swank will win the Oscar. It was amazing. I highly recommend that you see it. It was amazing! Thats all I really wanted to write tonight... SNL is on, I'm out!

So I started running (and walking) yesterday. It hurts. Yeah. I had been for a while back when I lived in the apartment, but my schedule or the weather did not cooperate. So now that its been nice outside, I decided that I should do it again. My legs and abs ache a bit. Oh well. I'll get over it for real. So I did something completely stupid. A girl I used to work with told me she has a boyfriend now because of eharmony.com... so what do I do- go there and fill out one of those personality profliles. Just for kicks, not thinking of it seriously, because I always think of people that go on those sites are just desperate. I just wanted to see what it was like. It was LONG! Ever looked up your ex or someone you like on www.whitepages.com ? Well, I have. Pathetic. Oh well. That's all for now.

So I have basically been studying insurance crap this whole week. Its a lot of information, but its pretty easy stuff so far. I've officially kept 50 pages of notes. So, yeah, I'm so excited about the possibility of all this money that I could be making and the possibility of getting my own place and being completely independent and being able to decorate it! Also, eventually I'd love to buy my gramma's old house. The people that bought it are douche bags, and they got this amazing house for dirt cheap, so I really want to buy it back and make it my very own. I have so many plans, and I haven't even gotten my insurance license yet! I'm nuts. Oh well. Time to surf the web. I'm out.

So, to be quite honest, I think that my loneliness is beginning to take its toll on my mood. I've been in a rather crumby mood the past few days and I can't exactly put my finger on it as to why. Maybe its because all I've been doing is studying for the test of my insurance license. That is rather stressful. Or could it be that I haven't even been out on a date for about a year and five months, nor have I seen any possibilities. That is a bit depressing for me... since I am 24 years old... will be 25 in May, and haven't really now that I think of it had a serious relationship, ever. Sure, there were once relationships that I thought were serious at the time, but they either turned out to be a lie or not as serious as I thought. Take your pick. It makes me wonder what is so wrong with me that I can't even seem to get a guy remotely interested in me. Oh there were times in the past year and a half that I thought maybe certain guys that I had met might be a ...

So here's the thing. What kind of job tells you that you have to pay for something with a credit card? So basically here is the moral of the story :that is stupid. As if it is not enough that in order to work for this company, I have to take this week long class and pass a test in order to get my insurance selling license or whatever... and I have to take some test, but they won't let me pay for it in cash???? They don't accept cash, so you know. What kind of company/school does not take cash? This seems shady to me. So in order to pay for this, I am probably going to have to buy one of those pre-paid american express credit card/travelers check thingies- which costs an extra 15 dollars just to get it, and I have to put at least 300 dollars on THAT and the class only costs just over $200. Arg. Frustration abounds. I had a Choral Society party thingy tonight. It was kinda to get to know people and what not. We played musical bingo which I had never thought of. ...

So I don't remember if I wrote this or not, but I dyed my hair, and I HATE IT. IT wasn't supposed to look practically crayon red. It has lightened up a little since I did it a few days ago but I really do not like it. It is not as bad as when I accidentally dyed my hair black, but its a close second. It looks nothing like what the color on the box said it was supposed to be. Now I have to wait for a few weeks until I can dye it again, because otherwise my hair will probably look like I put it through a spin cycle. So one might wonder why I may not talk to them as much as I used to. There are a few reasons. Maybe you don't talk to me as much as you used to or you don't show much interest in talking to me when I try to talk to you. Another reason might be that I think I might be bugging you by contacting you. The last reason is that I hate you. Well, not all HATE, but maybe a strong dislike. There are few people that I hate that don't look for Walmart. ...