My Heart - by Kristen Lea

How is it that some people just have a way at getting at you? Some people just know what to say to get you going... there are two such people in my life at this particular moment. The Nazi Josef, and My former voice teacher. Although I love Dr. Galer, sometimes she can just get on my bad side.... the way she comes across to me and some of the things she says to me just piss me off to no end. For instance, I got an email from her today and it really upset me, because I am just fed up of the same old crap from her. I feel like nothing I ever do will ever be good enough and that she feels like she knows what is better for me than I do. I just can't take the same old crap anymore. Now I can understand why her former students didn't keep in touch with her.

Today was a good day... I took my papers in to get my taxes done so I can get money back!!!!! Yay! I was so happy when I got my W-2s... I need money... yay.... I will finally be able to get my car fixed. I'm so excited! I got to talk to my good friend from Florida today.... That was a good conversation.... I can't wait to go visit him this summer! Road trip! yeah baby! I'm looking forward to that although I do not know exactly when it will be. ALSO, I found out I had a few more donations for my England trip, which is awesome! I have no idea who sent the money, but I am totally excited about it! I guess God really does want me to go on this trip. State of the Union was tonight... I watched it.... Oh yes.... I recalled that the last time I watched it I was with my good friend Eric and we were eating pizza with College Republicans. How fun was that. I miss good times with Eric and CRs.

Firstly, My condolances to R. Todd "The Champ" Nicholson... he was in a car accident and had a few injuries... I'm thinking of ya, and I hope to "see ya" soon.... (I know its more likely that Micah would be reading this than him, so let him know what I said). Anyhoo... now that I got that out of the way... I just want to say that I love the Television show Law and Order SVU. Although many times I feel horrible about the characters often portrayed on the show because I know that there are sick people like that out there. It just breaks my heart. It makes me want to be part of the process to catch the scum bags. I also love when they trick people into confessing. That's the best! Anyway... today was another good day at work (wow- three in a row)! How great is that! And I got invited to go bowling with a bunch of friends for a birthday next Saturday; how fun is that?! If any of you guys (that probably aren't reading this... I'm jus...

OH one thing... I did convince Mike that Hell is actually being a cashier... forever... with the same customer, and you just never get finished with the order... and they're mad at you cuz you're not going fast enough for them... He said "that'd suck!" and i said, "duh, that's why it's my idea of what hell could be like."

So why is it that just when you've decided to give up on a possible relationship... something happens that makes you realize why you felt the way you did in the first place... Life can be so frustrating.... If I wasn't such a wuss I'd just go for it and tell my friend the way I feel, but I'm just too scared. Oh well, such is life. I designed some diamond rings tonight just for fun... one more reason not to rush into marriage... because I'm not sure what kind of ring I want! Today was a good day at work... FOR ONCE... I had a good time with Mike and with my other friends. Mostly Mike. We have a good time together. I missed working with him... we haven't worked with him in a while. My life is so exciting....... about as exciting as waiting for the mailman.

How sick am I of all the making fun of George W. Bush for being "stupid"? I know it is all in good fun most of the time.... but my brother actually takes it seriously and thinks that George W. is actually dumb. HE went to HARVARD people... dumb people don't go to Harvard! Dumb People don't graduate from Harvard! There... I got that out of my system. I never thought I'd almost look forward to going to work tomorrow.. but I am so bored after today... plus my brother and sister have been driving me insane. I cannot wait until I move outta here. I'm so ready.. hopefully this summer. How about I still don't have insurance, because walmart screwed up... AND they had better not tell me i have to wait to get insurance or i'm gonna cause some major uproar... they are totally in the wrong and should pay for my first month of insurance because i probably won't get it until next month now... no i actually have no idea when it will start, but it HAD ...

Hello all.... Do any of you know how much I love Lord of The Rings? Just curious, because i was thinking of watching it today...Since I have the day off.... I'll be going back to work tomorrow after two days off in a row... how much does that suck? I REALLY want to find a new job... if anyone has any suggestions, I'm totally open to them... Fundraising for my england trip is going decently well... I just need to find a few more generous donators or something like that... My church is trying to help me out, but its slow coming along on that front... I'm kinda anxious about things like "what if I don't get enough money?" and things of that nature... saving money is difficult when you have to pay back your loans and pay for your car. I am soooooo bored... And Passions is on, and I MUST turn it because this show is JACKED UP... my life is so uninteresting. Oh well. And I'm off to watch my Viggo in LORD OF THE RINGS.

Well, one question... how do you give people advice or tell them things they should know that you know without doing it the wrong way? I guess the key is tact, and that your heart is in the right place. My money situation is going okay for my england trip... there are still more people that i can hit up for money and we shall see how that goes along... i'm scared... but i can't wait until i have my trip paid for so i can get a cell phone. as soon as i get my car fixed, i am so buying a cell phone, and i'm excited about getting the new picture phone thing... that's like THE COOLEST! I'm so pumped about that! I have the next two days off, which i guess is cool, because i've been sick for the past week... i slept all sunday pretty much except for meals and church and girl's night, and then slept a full night again last night.... so i don't know how much more i can actually sleep... you'd think i'd get not tired eventually.. but i just kee...

Let's just get right down to the facts. I am down in the dumps.... I'm not a fan of my life right now and I'm not sure what I can do about it. I miss my friends back at IWU so much, and I hope they feel the same. THings just haven't been the same for me since graduating. Being so far away from my friends is difficult, but i guess I'll just have to get over it. I've heard from some friends whom i haven't seen in a few years lately and i really want to visit them, but they're so far away. I can't wait to have the money to visit them... that will be a really fun time.. i love to travel. quite honestly i don't have much positive to say lately... i'm not feeling good physically, but in any other way either. I'm having a rough time lately... I just want to sleep for a few days... haha... well, i shall go for now.

So yeah, this has been a blech last couple of days, but i'm back online! I've been sick, which sucks, because its like a cold kinda sick, where i'm stuffy and kinda can't hear clearly, so it's not like the kinda sick where you can just throw up and get it out, but its just there... i hate that. I told my friends at work they should feel sorry for me, actually i was just kidding but oh well. So some people are just really apathetic about everything and that drives me nuts. I don't know, I just don't think that friendships or relationships are worth it when one person is doing most of the giving. That is not the type of thing i'm interested in... does that make any sense to anyone but me? Can I just say that I hated New Year's Eve? To me, its like the second worst holiday EVER (the first being Valentine's Day). I have never had a good Valentines day, but the last good NYE that i had was 4 years ago in 2000....I actually went to a ...