So, I need some input... and I know at least Megan will let me know what she thinks (and if she doesn't I will look like a complete moron for saying that). However, I know I can count on her.

Today I was checking my myspace ( I am addicted, but admitting it is the first step to recovery. One of my male friends had posted a blog about style. He had recently been venting about the way women dress. How clothes are for covering the body, not flaunting it, and etc. A very IWU friendly post, right? Haha.

Anyway, today he admitted he was wrong and said the real problem is that people have no style. He made a point to make sure that we are not confusing "style" and "fashion." Anyway the whole point he made was that style comes down to three things: Class, character, and attitude. Here is what he says about attitude:

"This has been the most corrupted. The whiny, selfish, well, I'll just say it, bitchy schtick is in vogue right now, and has been since feminism took hold. Men? Men are just as bad. Complaining, self-absorbed, and generally wimpy in comparison to women's nagging and yelling. You can't have style if you have a bad attitude. It ruins the whole thing. Women need to be feminine, sweet, pretty, and charming. Men need to be strong, chivalrous, determined, and compassionate. And our clothing needs to reflect that."

I can respect his opinion. He is a friend with whom I have often gotten into long-winded (to say the least) discussions about many different things. Anyway.. I have a small problem with the following statement:

"Women need to be feminine, sweet, pretty and charming."

Okay. I can buy it for the most part. Except for the fact that it is slightly vain, I can buy it. Except for this: What ever happened to the value of a woman of strength?

I agree, women should be feminine. We were made to be feminine. And I think that a lot of our definitions of femininity would include the words sweet, pretty and charming. However, I also believe a woman should be able to think for herself, and when needed, stand up for herself.

This is especially true for us single gals. What single woman hasn't had to fend off some over-zealous loser? I have a very good strategy for this: Blatant honesty. One guy kept asking me why I wouldn't want to enjoy a nice meal at Applebee's with him. So finally I said "Okay, how about this... I don't want to go with you." He backed off. Now some guys need more than that, so I usually enlist the help of male friends... and that is why I also usually go to the same place when I sing karaoke. I have a lot of friends there, and I feel safe there, even though I am normally sans "date."

I guess I have to use my inner strength more than some have in life... and maybe that's why they do not see the value of a woman of strength.

The proverb does (The Wife of Noble Character)
Proverbs 31:25 - She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
and
Proverbs 31:30 - Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Comments

Amanda said…
Wow, well I'll probably get myself in trouble here with the feminists, LOL, but I'd have to say I agree with your friend. I think the essence of being a woman definitely includes "feminine, sweet, charming, etc..." That being said, I don't think that EXCLUDES being strong...I think you can be both. Just because I am "sweet" and a "submissive" wife (man, it's a good thing Michael doesn't read your blog, or you'd be hearing laughter all the way in Michigan!), that doesn't mean I'm not strong. But I think there are times to show our strength and times to use our feminine wiles, LOL. That is what makes us women. Basically, we're just way better than men.
Kristen said…
Good thing I'm not a feminist.

But Amanda, you forgot "pretty."

I guess I was offended by the fact that all women are expected to act a certain way. I mean, yes, being a submissive wife is a given, and being feminine is also. I don't think in any way that it has got me thinking because I don't think I am feminine, but I don't like being put in a box. Why should I accept any man telling me what all women SHOULD be?

Maybe I have a problem because he has these expectations of men and women the same, but he does not practice what he preaches.

If men are supposed to be one way, and women another, shouldn't the men first be what they are meant to be before telling women what they should be? Or at least before telling women what he thinks they should be?
You know I'm glad you put in some verses on the Proverbs 31 woman. To me, she is what God's will is for a woman. She is contributing her talents and skills without usurping her husband's authority and she's being his helper which is what God created a wife to be. Just go back to Genesis and read why God created woman. It doesn't say anything about being sweet and charming or pretty. BUT, I think God had put it in us from the get go that we want to please our man and we try to be sweet, pretty and feminine because most men like those qualities in a woman. I don't like the word 'charming'. To be 'charming' is to be deceptive and evil.
Amanda said…
Interesting. I guess it makes a difference who the person is making the comments. Since I don't know who it is, I can't say anything...but if they are coming across as hypocritical, that's definitely not cool.

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