One Of The Most Hurtful Things

One of the most hurtful things someone has ever said to me was this past weekend. I was at a graduation party, and things were beginning to wind down. People were sitting around the fire and I was standing because I was getting tired and thinking of leaving. This guy Mike was talking to one of my friends. He was talking about how he was divorced and acting like since he was divorced he had all this important knowledge he could bestow upon him to put into action for my friend's current relationship. I jokingly said "well you know, you're not the only divorced one here." He turned to me, and in front of a various group of people, some that I know and some that I don't said "Well, the main difference between your divorce and my divorce is that I know at some point my wife actually loved me."

Laughter erupted from probably all except me. I simply responded with "Yeah... I'm going to go home."

Mike tried to go back and make a joke at his own expense and say "well, maybe she did never love me, its hard to say..." and I didn't really hear anything else but a few people's pitying comments saying "I hope you have a nice night," as I walked away.

My friend Andrea followed me to my car and said something like "you know how it is around the guys..." I said yeah, I just don't want to talk about it. For some reason she thought I was mad at her, and maybe I should have been for not standing up for me to such a low blow. I wasn't. All I could think is that maybe my Ex was right... Maybe there's something wrong with me that makes men run away or not want me.

The lesson here is that even if you say something meaning it as a joke, it can quickly put someone into a place where you would never want to put them. A lesser person could have allowed that to throw them into a deep depression. I refuse to let someone who makes a joke at my expense to make himself feel better get the best of me. I didn't get angry. I've learned over the years that sometimes just being quiet and walking away can show more how much you've been hurt than any angry gesture I could make.

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