My Heart - by Kristen Lea

Okay this will be quick, because I only have three minutes before I have to start working. Things are going okay here. I haven't really had much to report... no relationships, no babies, nothing- so I haven't really posted anything for lack of interesting things to say. I have really been missing my old IWU friends lately! I am thinking of going to homecoming and hopefully seeing some old friends. The worst thing for me about college wasn't studying for music history, or anything like that... it was leaving. Okay.. I'm excited for the long weekend. There's a big thing in the area they do every year with softball games and stuff and I'm really excited about it.

I just wanted to take a moment to ask for prayers for Beau and Nicole Hummel and family. Their son Bryson was involved in an accident with a lawn mower, and last time I heard, they had to remove part of his leg. Beau and Nicole are two of the most faithful and strong people I have ever met, so I know the Lord will see them through this time... but I can't even imagine what they are going through right now. For updates, view this site http://www.brysonhummel.com

Ok people, if you want me to read your blogs, you have to let me be a reader. If you don't like me, that's fine. Don't invite me. If you do here's my email: kristenlea47@hotmail.com . I'm only going to leave this post up for a short time because it contains my email address.

I got my harmonicas today! I was so excited! Too bad I got them too late to actually start messing around with them (although I was while I was driving- I know, real safe). Anyway, I'm so excited about learning and just playing around with them. What else? Gosh its Monday- I don't know. I have an ebay problem. I recently allowed myself on there, and have already purchased harmonicas, a karaoke cd for WICKED, and actually currently need to pay for two more karaoke cds I purchased. This could be a major addiction if I let it. I could buy karaoke CDs all day long and still not have "enough." I really want a Heart karaoke CD, because there are sooooooo many good heart songs, and there are so many of their more obscure songs that I can't find on CD! Anyway, I'd better go.. gotta work in two minutes!

This week has been so slow at work it almost makes me want to poke myself in the eye to realize that yes, I still am alive and not really in some twisted version of hell. Seriously! Its pretty bad when people in the insurance business are watching the weather and almost hoping for a hurricane to hit so they won't be so bored. Ugh... things are going okay, besides being boring. I'm so ready for this week to be over though... I'm totally excited because the Pistons are coming to VanAndel (in Grand Rapids) on October 17 for a preseason game... against the Denver Nuggets! Which means, not only will I get to see Sheed, Chauncey, Tayshaun, Rip, C- Webb, McDyess, Maxiell... and all the guys on the Pistons team (including Jarvis who was just signed)- but I will get to see one of the greats- A.I- aka Allen Iverson along with Carmelo Anthony in person! I am so stoked! I really want courtside this year, since last year I had to settle for third row. The tickets aren't even a...

Well, my mom is home. That is a relief. Ann Arbor is a long way away! She's still tired and what not, but coming along well, I'd say. I went camping this weekend and it was... well, something. My family goes to the same place every year on the second weekend of August. We've been doing this for 27 years. Well, I was assaulted, and I'll save you the story. Basically I was trying to tell a guy that he needed to back off my Uncle or he was going to get killed and he grabbed my wrist and was trying to kick me out of the place (he had no authority there in the first place- well besides the fact that he never should have done that)- well he's probably lucky that my other Uncle was a gimp (he is in a walking cast) - anyway- my Uncle Tim grabbed him and with the help of some other women got him to let go of me. It was ... well scary to say the least. Anyway, I had a cop (a guy that was camping also) tell me that if I wanted to press charges I could. I figured it w...

I must say.. this week has been a different one. First of all let me say thank you to all of you who have been keeping me in your prayers. I truly have felt a huge difference. God has given me a peace about what I need to do and that has been quite something (especially taking into account how I felt at the beginning of the week). I have realized that the more I think about it I haven't really been myself... and I thought about it, and its actually been for about two years. I've actually grown weary of looking at pictures of myself in college and trying to remember how I was so happy. Why and how to get there again. The Lord has really been speaking to me this week (saying pretty much the same things He always does, but we hear what we want to hear). Anyway, I have been feeling better. I'm just praying for the courage to do what I need to do and that He will give me the words to do it. I've had to make some apologies for my actions and words- a thing I'm not ...

Thank you for your support for those of you who have left comments. Lately I have been needing all the encouragement I can get. We found out the problem with mom's blood. Its a blood disorder called myelodysplastic syndrome. Also known as preleukemia. Apparently there is treatment for it, its genetic (although I did also read some things saying it could be caused by environmental factors), and its good because its not leukemia. I'm just so irritated that's not one of the first things they checked. Anyone who's ever seen a lot of scrubs episodes knows what a lot of bleeding is a symptom of. Well today went... okay. I finally ate something today (hadn't eaten since Saturday). I talked with Laura and things were okay, and I cried a lot, and I still am not sure what I am going to do. I think I'm going to have to call it quits with this guy I've been "seeing." He's looking for me to be there when its convenient to him not all the time, and...

Pray for me... especially tomorrow (Tuesday) at 10 am. I will attempting some serious askings of forgiveness and reconciliation. Or at least beginning to. I need your prayer in the deepest way. Keep praying for my mom. She's still in the hospital- No closer to any answers as of yet. I've really been struggling this last month or so with some depression, lonliness and just some deep hurts. Please continue to keep me in your thoughts. I haven't felt this alone in a very long time. Its difficult for me to even admit it, but there it is.

I talked to my Gramma today and she said the doctors think my mom's platlettes (not how its spelled, but oh well)- are not sticking to each other. That is why they think its not clotting. They are going to test her bone marrow tomorrow. I assumed they had already done this test, since that's the first thing I thought of when she couldn't stop bleeding. I am stressed about this. I think my sister and Gramma (and Isaak, my nephew) will be going to see mom tomorrow. Pray for me.. its always hard for me to see her in the hospital, and if its the thing I'm thinking of I don't know if I'll be able to handle all of this. If my mom gets sicker I might just die. Sometimes I feel like she's all I have. Thanks for reading and hopefully keeping me in your prayers.

Please keep my mom in your prayers. Since Sunday she has been at the U of M Cardio center. They're still trying to figure out what the problems are with her blood and stomach. This is very stressful for me. Also keep me in your prayers. Other personal issues are keeping me distracted also. Pray for Micah and Todd... Todd's dad Passed away. They know he's in heaven with his Father, but I can only imagine how difficult this time is for them. My place is getting better. Still not where I want it to be, slowly but surely it will be. I have two new kittens too. Someday I'll get pics. No cat lady comments please. I cried the other night at the prospect of being "the single cat lady."