Okay- I'm going to take a risk in what I am about to say.

I actually kinda hate when people tell me things like "God has a purpose for your life," or "you'll get through this."

I know they are just trying to be helpful- but most of the time... the people that are saying these things to me have NO IDEA what I am going through or have gone through in this past year let alone the rest of my life.

I must say that I have been trying not to focus on the bad in general- somedays are just worse than others. When I have no job, no money, no real friends around here, and I have no hope to accomplish any of my goals and dreams in the near future, let alone take a step in that direction, I get very discouraged.

And I know my friends are trying to be helpful and encourage me. When I post those things, i'm usually just having a bad day, and I do appreciate those encouraging words. Especially when sometimes I do feel very hopeless.

And sometimes I hate that I'm twenty-seven years old (today) and I have not really accomplished much of anything (or so it seems sometimes). I know I have it good- because I have a mother who will let me stay here while I'm going through rough times.... however I also have to deal with her husband coming home in less than a month from prison and I loathe the man. There is only one person I have utter distain for and it is he. That's the least of my issues these days anyway.

Well, I should probably go. I'm just rambling. I don't even know why I felt like writing this stuff. But I did.



Megan said…
Kristen, All I can say is that you need to 'get the hell out of Dodge'! I was thinking to myself the last couple of days about you and what I would do if I were in your shoes. Quite frankly, knowing what I know now, you need to get out of that stinky town you live in and do something. Volunteer with the Red Cross, put in your application in other cities or towns. But whatever you do don't stay there! Do something completely crazy and for once in your life think out of the box.
I have a very good friend who is now 31 and is in your very shoes. She lives at home with her parents and struggles with similar things you do. Her life will most likely never change because she lacks the motivation to do so. If you really want things to stay this way then by all means do nothing, but if you want things to change, then you need to change, you need to make things happen. No one can do it for you.
Of all the people who did amazing things in the Bible, they all did the unthinkable - they trusted God completely and didn't worry about things like money or where their next meal came from. God always provided.
But hey, you have a choice, you can lead a miserable life if you want to or you can do something about it. I'm done ENCOURAGING you.

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