My Heart - by Kristen Lea

With the way things have been going with me lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I was thinking about how my relationships have gone in the past... as well as just my past experiences. One thing I'm beginning to wonder if I know how to be in a relationship. I have been alone for so long I don't know if I know how to be with someone. This really scares me to death, because I don't want to be alone- and I don't believe God created any of us to be alone. I don't want to be alone- but right now I feel like its all I know. I really do feel alone in the world right now. I'm not sure anyone can know or understand all the things I feel. I know that the Lord is there to comfort me- believe that. Sometimes it just nice to have a friend to talk to and who will just be there and let you cry on their shoulder. I don't really feel like I have any friends close enough in proximity to do that for me. Sometimes you just need a hug, you know?

I have never understood why some people lie. I know that we've all done it- whether its "you look great in that," or "no, your dog isn't annoying," or "your baby is so cute!" However, when it matters... when it really truly matters, why lie? I'm going to surprise myself with how much I'm going to share- I know already. I was recently in a relationship with a man, and I'm now finding out/realizing that my deepest thoughts may have been true- and that he told me at least more than one lie. What I don't understand about people is do they really think I'm that dumb? And by people I mean do men really think I'm that dumb? Do I look like I can be easily fooled? I'm told I look young, but never dumb. Maybe that's another lie! Who knows?! The point is this: Men: Don't lie. The woman in your life (whether it be significant other, friend, or even family member) has an undeniable intuition that she may or may not ...

I've let fear rule my life for too long. I'm trying to turn that around and be more bold in my relationship with someone I care for deeply. We'll see how this goes! Pray for me- anyone who reads this.

I was just wondering how well we know the people we call our friends. All day- any day- a single person can have millions of thoughts. So, this leads me to wonder how well we know each other. We think we know each other, but how much do we really know? Sure- we know things like our closest friends pet peeves, birthdays/anniversaries, middle name, and favorite food. Do we know their deepest fears, personal struggles, thoughts? Do you know if your best friend ever feels lonely, depressed, hopeless? Or do you only hear about the "up" times? I don't know about you, but for me its more difficult to share when I'm hurting. I love to tell good news- no matter what its about.. whether its a new pair of shoes, a new job, or a new love. However, when I'm hurting, I'm more likely to keep that "news" to myself. It just makes me wonder how much we really conceal from each other when we really shouldn't. Maybe its just because I live alone and get lon...

I found out today why the USPS is ineffective and why they constantly change rates. I went to track something I had purchased a while back. I tracked it with the little number the place gave me when bought the item online. I found that it was "in transit," but found the history of the package interesting. It had come from somewhere out of state to go to Wyoming, MI(for those of you who are not familiar-that's basically Grand Rapids). Then from there, it went to Lansing, Mi. From there it said my package was in transit to its final destination. Now this may not seem that odd, until you look at a map of Michigan and where I am in relation to Grand Rapids and Lansing. I live in Lake Odessa, which is actually about halfway inbetween Grand Rapids and Lansing. On the map above, both Grand Rapids and Lansing are circled in red. Grand Rapids/Wyoming being the red circle on the left (west) and the other red circle being Lansing. The green circle is where my package is headed for. ...

Fear. Fear is something that people seek out. Whether it be through movies, roller coasters or so-called haunted houses. People chase storms for the sheer thrill of the fear it makes them feel. Fear is also something that can be crippling. Fear can bind us and hinder us from where we feel like we should go with our lives and where God wants us to be in our lives spiritually and emotionally. Fear is something I've dealt with ever since I can remember. When I was younger, I was afraid of the dark, had nightmares. I even thought I saw people watching me through my windows. I was afraid. I was afraid of what people thought of me, what people didn't think of me and even how I felt about myself. When I started college I was afraid I wouldn't make any friends. I was afraid no one would like me and that it would be four years of loneliness. For those of you who went to college with me, you obviously know this didn't happen. I got some great advice from someone that I ...