Okay, I absolutely have to vent. So I apologize ahead of time. Let me know your thoughts about what I'm about to say (preferably AFTER you've read the post, a-thank you).

Well, I have this friend... which I guess would be an accurate descriptor of him. He and I have... a history ... for lack of better words (yes- kissing in the walmart parking lot - Micah). Anyway- this history... is long (for our age). I've known him for... about 5 years, which seems crazy to me. Well, anyway, for one reason or another, things didn't ever really work out with us. And the last time I saw him was in November.

Well, last week, out of the blue, he sent me a message (via myspace). His message basically said that he realized we hadn't talked in a while, and I should call him. Despite my better judgement I did, but it didn't matter, because no one answered. I proceeded to leave him a message on myspace jokingly saying he must have been in the bathroom (my precise words were "taking a poop, perhaps?") and telling him that he could contact me, should he feel "inspired."

Well, unfortunately, I do keep up with him on myspace... with blogs and what not. He had written a blog today saying that he had a problem, and was asking for help. Of course it was a "girl problem," and the problem was trying to figure out what girl to pursue. He mentioned four- then corrected himself and said one was not a valid prospect. He described three different girls (using aliases)- and the relationships he had with them. Now, I am still not absolutely positive I am one of these people. Just FYI. But I just need to get this out in the open for once.

Back on track- He described these three girls, and the reasons for pursuing one. I don't know if I'm one, but I am concerned I may be (I'm not really sure exactly how that makes me feel- at the moment I'm a little nauseated).

Skip to next: The next blog he posted (not very long after that) was about the "competition rules." One of his "requirements" for a future wife is that she be able to challenge him in some sort of way (to a sport, a video game, board game, anything competitive). This makes me sick. Because despite all the ways he says he knows exactly what women want and knows most everything there is to know about women, he doesn't know one important thing: That women long to be pursued. I am not going to climb over mountains to win a man. That is the man's job! Hello!? Men want a challenge, I understand that- and I also believe that they enjoy the hunt.

Therefore, why should any woman go through this in order to "win" any man?! No way! Any man worthy should be fighting to win me! Yeah, I said it! But isn't it true?! I am so fed up with some of the men out there that think they are the treasure to be won. Okay- some may be. However, in general, its the other way around (I would hope). Maybe I am old fashioned (which I don't mind at all), but I want to be pursued. I don't want to be the pursuer. I've done that garbage before- and it has never ended well.

I am just sickened by this whole thing. Sickened by the fact that I could even be considered part of this despicable "competition." Either you want this (pointing to self) or you don't. Its as simple as that (well, almost).


Anonymous said…
Hi Kristen,

You don't know me, but I have kept up with your blog for some time. I graduated from IWU back in 2002 and found your blog through Kristi Fields.

I totally agree with your post. I believe heartily that men should do the pursuing, not women. During my younger (and dumber) years, I "chased after" a couple different guys, and do you know where it got me? Absolutely nowhere. Most men really don't want a girl to go after them, they want the excitement of the chase, the challenge of winning a girl over. I found that to be true when I met my husband, who I have been happily married to for almost five years, and who pursued ME.

I have one word in mind for this guy you talk about in your blog...loser. L-O-S-E-R. He apparently thinks very highly of himself, and believes these girls do too. Does he seriously believe that these girls want to compete for him? I mean, really, who does he think he is?

I realize that you have history with this guy, so that can muddle things a bit. But just remember this... you are worth so much more than you've ever given yourself credit for. You deserve a man who will treat you with respect, and who will see you as worthy of pursuit (and believe me, he really is out there!).

Keep your head up, and never forget your worth as a woman. :)


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