So the secret is revealed: I've been seeing someone ... for a while now. Since before labor day. I have kept it on the down low because... well of many reasons and I wanted to be sure before I said anything. Anyway, all of this for this story and the reason for the graphic. Well, we were talking...about my whole job situation. And he said something that really caught my ear. He was telling me to find a job that I'm going to love... or a career path rather. Anyway- he advised me to find a job that will "bring me alive," - at least I'm pretty sure those were the exact words. It really got me thinking. What kind of career, short of an opera career or something of the like would really bring me to life... would wake up my soul and spirit. What would truly make me happy?
Then I got to thinking- I'm sure that nothing I do will truly make me happy unless it is something having to do with music. Music makes me happy- it stirs something within me that nothing else ever could. So why have I been working in insurance? To pay the bills, I suppose. Actually- if one is not a teacher (which I am no longer vastly opposed to now that I've seen some horrible music teacher move into our school district), there are not really many other music opportunities for careers... especially in Lake Odessa. And no matter how many people hear me sing and tell me I should be on broadway or go on "american idol," I find it hard to believe I'd make it. Not because I don't think I'm good enough- because I think it I work hard enough I could, however- I don't meet the mold. And although Prof once told me that he had a feeling what my goal was and that he knew I could accomplish it, there is still a lot of self doubt... and maybe lack of faith in others at the same time... and maybe some fear of failure.
I guess I have a lot more to think about than I had realized!