Showing posts from September, 2013


I was thinking recently... that I feel that life has changed me. Obviously that is going to happen. I dare to say we all change in some way over years. We hope and pray we change for the better. However, in some ways I have changed for the worse. I feel like life has caused me a lot of pain, and that pain has made me distant from people. Generally I don't warm up to people like I used to. And it doesn't take much for me to put that distance between me and an individual or group if I feel I've been hurt or burned by them.

I've had a lot of people (not just men) treat me badly and it has changed me. I read my old journals and I can see straight into the heart of this young woman who cared more about others than herself. Who opened herself up to new friendships, who hoped for a relationship that she always dreamed about.

Now I'm cynical. I wonder if it's possible to have a relationship (marriage) like some of my friends have, who are married to their best friends,…